You were caught cheating.
You started a blog, the purpose of which is self-flagellation .
Wow, you are really rough on yourself. For what? Parking your pecker in a strange place?
This is the problem with the puritanical construct of monogamy. Monogamy is not natural. We aren’t meant to deprive ourselves of pleasure because a bunch of religious cultist founded a country.
You cheated, you made a perceived mistake, which by the way you didn’t, BIG FUCKING DEAL!
No matter what your motivation, no matter what drove you to the act, you did it, you fucked another human being – it is over, move on. You didn’t take a life. You didn’t commit genocide, you followed a natural desire for pleasure. An innate desire that a bunch of hypocritical moralist tell you, you should deny yourself.
You are going to see a brain butcher. For what? There is no profit for the head-shrinker if you get better. Your continued guilt is a steady stream of income for someone who is either masturbating to your affairs, or having one him or herself.
Stop going to counseling, it is both a waste of your time and your money.
If forgiveness is what you seek, then forgive yourself. Although, requiring forgiveness for fulfilling your desires is just plain stupid. If only you understood, there are so many people being unfaithful. They realize that faithfulness is nothing more than a silly construct of a society intent on controlling the masses.
Why you told your spouse, if you did, is beyond me. Telling him or her only hurt them. The perception that it would alleviate your guilt is incorrect. If anything, there is now even more guilt – the guilt that is the end product of your selfish confession. Ignorance is often times bliss. What one does not know, can not cause pain.
On the other hand, if you were caught, then the odds are good you wanted your liaisons to be exposed. It is very easy to covertly have an affair. Being found out is usually a sign that you want out of the relationship, you just aren’t being honest with yourself, or probably more likely, you don’t have the guts to leave.
Does everyone cheat? No.
Do most married couples cheat? Yes.
Marriage is not a fulfilling proposition. Matrimony is a chain, shackling one to a life of not only monogamy, but worst, monotony.
Imagine, just one food for the rest of your life?
Imagine, just one beverage to drink, one pair of pants to wear, one suit, one shirt?
Imagine, just one soap to use, shampoo, toothbrush?
If you are a man, imagine only tasting the emanations of one vagina for years, or even decades. Do you know that all women taste different. One beautiful, succulent snatch isn’t the same as the other. They have a different scent, a different taste, a different feel, and they all respond differently to your touch.
Imagine, having your cock sucked the same way two to three times a month, if that often.
Imagine, the same boring sexual position time after time? Imagine, never savoring what another woman tastes like, feels like, moves like….
Just the same over, and over, and over, and over…
If you are a woman, imagine having to look at and touch the same cock each and every time you have sex? Think about the same size and shape filling you time after time. No variety, no change of pace. And imagine, having the same taste in your mouth, each and every time. Like women, all men taste differently, feel differently, have a different scent, make you respond differently and respond differently to you.
Variety is what makes life worth living. Think of how incredible it would be to have a different lover several times a week. A new scent, a new taste, a new position, a new shape, a new size… something exciting and different with each and every encounter.
That is what sex should be about… as many different lovers, as many different positions, as many different passions and many different experiences over the course of a lifetime.
If you have cheated, get out of the relationship if you are still there. You cheated for a reason, no matter what that reason is, you weren’t meant to be in that relationship.
Forgive yourself, move on, be happy with the person you are in the here and now. And, stay the fuck away from monogamous relationships. Monogamy is NOT a natural state.
Life is way too short to be beating yourself up. Cheating has set you free.
Remember, say no to monogamy and enjoy the pleasure the flesh does surely hold. And never settle for just one.