Why do some get caught with another, and others do not?
Is it dumb luck? Sometimes.
Is it smart planning? Maybe.
Or, does the cheater secretly want to get caught? More than likely.
If you are having an affair, or desire to have an affair, and do NOT want to get caught with your pecker parked in a new garage, or your garage accepting a new pecker – there are a few simple ways to minimize the risk of getting caught.
Are these methods 100%? Nope, nothing is. However, if you take just a few simple precautions, you could have all the lovers you want, and still (for whatever reason) remain in your marriage or other relationship.
One – pick a partner with as much, or more to lose, if caught than you. Make sure they are as attached in a relationship. Preferably, one in which they stand to lose financially if they are outed. If you are an older man or woman messing around with someone years younger, unattached and/ or just starting out in life – go the other way. No, run the other way. If a young thang is your thing, well prepare to get caught. They have no incentive to keep YOUR secret. Make sure your cheating partner has their own secret to protect.
Two – menopause is excellent birth control. If you are a man involved with younger women, see rule 1, however if you chose to ignore, get a fucking vasectomy! Nothing will throw your world in to turmoil more than a pregnancy. If you are a woman not of menopausal age – get on the pill, insert an IUD or get your tubes tied. Again, nothing will out you quicker than a pregnancy, especially if you haven’t been banging your spouse.
Three – get a burner cellphone. Walmart, Target, and every kiosk in every shopping center has them for sale. Keep the burner phone on your person at all times, except when going in the house for the evening. Never leave it out around the house or in the car, even if no one else is home or you are the only one to use the car. You never know. When you go in for the evening, place the burner phone in your trunk. The spare tire compartment makes a good hiding place.
Four – set up a phony social media account that doesn’t use your name and pictures. Keep your contact with those you are being intimate on this account. And do NOT post pictures of yourself, family or those with whom you are involved. Put no identifying information on this account. And for God’s sake, use the burner cellphone number for verification.
Five – pay cash for EVRYTHING. Meals, motels, trips, whatever it is – leave NO paper trail. Once a credit or debit card is used, the risk of someone else finding out is increased.
Six – join a gym and keep a packed spare gym bag in your car. If you decide for a mid-day romp, you are gonna get some of the scent and/or make-up from your partner on your clothes or body. If you have an office rendezvous, go to the gym before heading home, take a shower, wash your hair, (ladies nothing traps the scent of a cock as does the hair atop your head) and put on the fresh clothing. Take the clothes you wore while engaged in whoring activities to a dry cleaner and not the same one your partner uses. Do NOT put them in your home laundry for your spouse, or significant other, to stumble upon. Nothing comes into the house that may have made contact with your lady or gentleman lover.
Seven – keep your lies simple. Do not make stories of where you have been or who you were with overcomplicated. The more detailed the lie, the more apt you are to trip up. Do not involve others in your lie because you can not control them.
Eight – keep out of the public eye with the person with whom you are cheating. If you are both in other relationships, your meetings are for sex, you are not dating, you do not to be out together in public holding hands. Stay away from places in your general area, use a 25 mile radius as a general rule, but 50 to be safe. It only takes one loud mouth, busy body to rat you out.
Nine – and finally, keep your mouth shut. Don’t brag to anyone. The more people who know, the less control you have, and the more likely you are to get caught. Only two people should know, unless of course, you are having group encounters.
So, there you have it – a few simple steps to minimize the risk of getting caught having an affair. Fidelity and faithfulness are over-rated. You should enjoy the sexual pleasures of as many people as you possibly can. If for some reason you are in a relationship, ignore your commitment and run around and have a blast – just be cautious and careful and you too can enjoy infidelity.
Remember, say no to monogamy and enjoy the pleasure the flesh does surely hold. And never settle for just one.